I have not been in the blogging mood of late. What is there to blog about? I have no job. Every job application I submit is in His name, a reminder that, as of right now, I have no concrete transition plan. There’s no name change on my calendar anytime soon! And every night I lay down in an empty bed, alone, no one to share the down thoughts with. I’m alone in those moments where I desperately wish I had someone to be miserable with.
I am seeing my therapist this morning, and a good thing, too. I can feel the depression creeping back in, regardless of my meds. I keep telling myself that this is temporary, but that doesn’t help when I realize that any job I get at this point will be a step back for my Self. Last year they told me to find “little victories,” but how can a job application be a victory when it feels so very much like a failure?
I’m only writing this post to say I did. A little victory, right?