December 1, 2013

HRT Week Two: Waiting

Considering the build-up, these first two weeks of HRT have been decidedly underwhelming. Lots of pills taken, little results noticed.

Physically, there’s nothing I can point to. I think maybe there might be a little softening of the skin, but that could just be natural variance due to the weather, the humidity, etc. Mentally, I definitely feel less tense this week; however, it’s also been a holiday week and I have been traveling, visiting loved ones, and generally de-stressing. Anything I think I might notice could all be psychosomatic.

Ho hum. Maybe next week.

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  • Changes from taking hormones, whether physical,emotional or otherwise are often so subtle that to look for changes on a daily or weekly basis can often be more self-defeating than self-elating. For myself, while beginning HRT took away the anxiety of not taking them, I noticed two things. 1. All women’s faces, regardless of any other consideration, became beautiful to me, just because they were (presumably) cis-women. They stopped being objects and now became people. 2. On the downside, it took me months of thinking and feeling like a phony or even being able to look myself in a mirror to “put on my face” so to speak because, compared to cis-women, I looked like a trainwreck, even with makeup. It also took a month before I stopped having nightly erections or being able to ejaculate and so that I didn’t think about sex 100 times every day or the way I used to do while living in the T-world of men. Months after that, although I would sometimes absent-mindedly approach a toilet faced forward, I couldn’t have peed standing up even if I wanted to. To my trans-male friends on T, I would have to chuckle when I asked if they thought a LOT more about sex than they did before. The answer was always in the affirmative.
    The changes will come, I promise. Just be a little more patient and take pictures of at least your face frequently. I missed out doing that for almost 6-8 weeks after I started or even just before starting HRT. Now I do it frequently.and post it as the profile picture on all my pages like FB because a picture doesn’t lie like my own reflection in a mirror.

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