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Categories: Ali Finds Her Self

Here’s one of those little known quirks about the iPhone: sometimes, when you’re texting someone, and someone else texts you, the phone will automatically open the newest text from the other person. And sometimes you don’t realize they’re someone different, and sometimes you keep texting anyway. And sometimes … you send something you’d rather you didn’t send.

I was in the car, about to go into the grocery store. I was trading texts with my ex. I mentioned to her that I was wearing sunglasses; she responded with “You wear sunglasses now?!” Which is a fair response as during our marriage I never wore sunglasses. [Or eyeglasses. Or hats. I had an issue with things on my face and head, okay?] So instead of merely telling her, I decided to show her. I went to the camera, snapped a quick pic, and sent it to her with the caption “See?”

SeePic

See?

Unfortunately, while I was taking the pic, a text came in from someone else. From my mother. And when I flipped back to texting to send the pic, I didn’t realize that my iPhone had helpfully opened up my newest text message instead — the one from my mother. And to I sent the photo … to my mother. 

Oh. Shit.

My mother knows I’m trans; but as I’ve mentioned here before, she has an odd expectation of trans in her head. She thinks it’s something that people go to therapy for years to deal with before actually, you know, acting on it. Which I guess is true for some people, but not for me. Only she doesn’t know that. Or, she didn’t know that.

I fired off a damage control text: “Whoops. That wasn’t meant for you. Sorry. Just delete it.”

She must have been near her iPad at the time because her response was quick: “Are you wearing a wig???”

Crap. Crap crap. Crap crap crap!

I told her I was. She said that she didn’t know I was actually going out dressed; that she thought such things were “a little ways off yet”; that “I’d have to see it sometime I guess.” I kept apologizing for the mistake — I must have typed “I’m sorry” a dozen times — but there was no way to take it back. The truth was out there.

Her final comment on it was this: “You don’t need to apologize. We needed to see eventually. And we love you no matter who you are!”

So, all things considered, she took it well. She’s right; they were going to have to see sometimes. I just wish the moment had been more of a planned thing and less of a Homer moment. D’oh!

 


Comments

( 0 Comments )

pi314chron says:

Ahhhh! As our good friend Edward de Vere, The Seventeenth Earl of Oxford, in his play by the same name would say in this situation, “All’s Well That Ends Well,”………….or possibly “A Comedy of Errors!” Glad you cleared this hurtle…should give you some relief with your mother coming to visit and all.

Best,

-R-

Ali says:

Quite the opposite. Now I’m wondering what she’ll be expecting when she gets here! Damned if I do, damned if I don’t. Maybe I SHOULD take the advice of the Great Bard (not that De Vere fellow!): “This above all: to thine own self be true, And it must follow, as the night the day, Thou canst not then be false to any man.”

Kira says:

I think I put up a pic of how I looked. Straight female, light makeup, a little jewelry, a mock neck, black jeans, and boots with 3″ heels. Nothing fancy or outrageous.

Kira says:

The only time my Mother-in-law has seen me dressed was last Halloween and her first response was, “I hope your not going to dress like that often.” I just couldn’t bring myself to tell her the truth…

Ali says:

Ouch. 🙁 Were you dressed up as a female *something* (female pirate, etc.) or just *female*?

Meg says:

The big advantage of telling people is control. It’s better to out than be outed. Alas, after admonishing me to not tell people, my soon-to-be-ex (my “bitter half”) is telling everybody.

Ali says:

Isn’t it horrible how they do that? My ex’s entire family has at least heard about my trans issues because my ex told a few ‘trusted” people, and then they told, and they told …

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