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Categories: Ali Finds Her Self/ Tips

With things being what they’ve been this week, I have not yet been able to sit down and talk about my first full session with the electrologist. In short, the session was, as the title implies, a choice to inflict pain on myself.

The pain wasn’t too bad, but there’s definitely something unpleasant about getting a metal probe stuck into your pores and then getting zapped with an electrical shock. It’s like sadistic acupuncture, except that when you’re all done electrolysis actually works.

electrolysisLisa recommended that I start with my cheeks, the thought being that, as I move forward, it would be less obvious when my beard shadow appears than it would if we started with my chin. So we spent roughly 15 minutes on each cheek, top-down. The result was swelling, and redness, and bumpiness. The picture on the right was taken right after the session. You can see the redness and swelling; as the general swelling subsided the bumpiness appeared.

It’s six days later and the area is still noticeably irritated. But I’m not surprised. After all, electrolysis is basically controlled electrocution resulting in chemical and electrical burns. Yes, chemical! My electrologist uses “blend method,” which means part of the killing action occurs because the voltage renders salts in the pore into lye — yes, freaking lye — that fries the follicle. And that’s in addition to the heat burning the follicle.

I’m glad that whoever came up with electrolysis, did. Having said that, I would not like to meet that person; he’s probably a Sadist.

Word of warning for those who come after me: sessions with the electrologist mean a good three days where you’re probably not going out trying to pass en femme. In order for the electrologist to do her thing there needs to be about two days of beard growth; and for the 24 hours after the session you’re not supposed to put anything on the area other than antibiotic creme or pure aloe vera — so, no makeup. Also, you can’t really shave close to the area, either, meaning you’ll look “patchy” as well as irritated.

Ah, the things we do to correct Nature’s mistakes …


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