June 3, 2013

Divided Accounts

Amidst everything else going on in my life lately, the divorce proceedings plod on. My ex and I have strove to keep everything amicable, and apart from a few moments of rancor we’ve succeeded. By the time this is over we will likely remain friends, or at least friendly. Today we took was feels, for me, like one of the last big steps in untangling our lives: we split the bank account. As of today our finances are separated; my money is my own, and I’m responsible for keeping things balanced.

I remember the day, more than thirteen years ago, when she and I first opened our joint bank account. It is one of those memories that has lingered as a happy one … at least it used to be. I remember joking with her at the time that “My money’s no longer my money,” and her responding, “And it never will be again.” Sigh.

Over the course of our marriage, in fact, she had taken more and more control of the day-to-day finacials, so that by the time we decided to divorce she was more or less the accountant for the household. She kept things balanced; she knew what bills came in each month; she was in charge of logging into various accounts and making the payments. Frankly, I suck at keeping a budget! So it was out of necessity that she’d slowly taken things over.

Now I’m back on my own, the master of my money. I’m going to have to learn how to balance a budget all over again. Luckily, this time I’ve got technology on my side: auto-pay for the monthly recurring bills and Mint on my phone to do a lot of the recordkeeping for me. These tools should help me stay in the green … I hope!

[Sorry, no trans content in this one. Just a life blog.]

No Comments

  • So emotionally moving….
    My first wife slowly took over the financial reins in our marriage, too. From there it was a small step before she took over *everything.* We live, we learn…sometimes painfully.

    But the main thing is — we live. I sense a peace in your life and pray that it’s really there. You are a GOOD person, and I am proud to call you my friend. 🙂

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