I am not having a good day.
Thanks only to an errant text message I happened to see on my wife’s phone, I have learned that she has outed me to her best friend … and that her best friend has subsequently told her husband.
I have lost control of this secret. It’s out of my hands now.
In my wife’s defense, it was her best friend. But my wife knows the LGBT community; she had a brother who transitioned. She should know better than to out someone! That is something that you JUST DON’T DO!
And it’s not like I’ve made her keep the secret all to herself. Her brother (the transman) is in the “circle of trust”; so to is an old college friend of hers whom she trusts (and who lives in Florida, which helps). But this is the second time she’s outed me to someone I simply didn’t want to know yet! The first was her mother, last month. At that time, I asked her to please, please not tell anyone else without my permission. But she has.
I love my wife and I don’t want to lose her. I want to stay with her as long as I’m able, even though I know it will end in separation. But this is not helping me trust her or the things she’s promised me about this whole situation.
I have tried to get ahold of the situation. I have spoken to the friend, asked her to please keep the secret, basically forced her into the “circle of trust.” She has promised me she will keep it. But my wife also promised me, and look how that turned out!
I am having a bad, bad day.